This post has to be one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to write. I’ve heard a few comments from people saying that I seem to be “alright” but unless you have ever lost someone close to you, don’t judge how someone is doing. No one can prepare you for grief, it eats at you every single day. A year ago I lost my little brother and its killing me inside. The horrible thing about life is that you are expected to keep on living, go back to normal. You want to break down but you can’t because then you feel like you are being the weak one. Everybody is hurting yet no one will ever understand your pain.
My brother is the most amazing man I have ever met, honestly no one can compare. He is the man of our house and I have never and will never meet a man with such amazing qualities. He is the most loyal and fearless person I know. He has and will always be my inspiration.
I miss him so much it’s killing me. I miss chasing him around the house when he’s driving me mad. I miss him walking into my room without knocking, asking me if he looks nice. I miss his million phone calls a day asking me to pick him up. I miss ordering a ‘fat munch’ with him and not even eating half of it. I miss his beautiful smile and his contagious laugh. I miss his voice and hearing him say “don’t worry Dem I’ve got you”. I would do absolutely anything in the world for him and it hurts not being able to see him everyday.
It definitely does not get easier, the feelings of pain and loss will always be there, I think you just learn to hide it better. Everyday you wake up you a faced with a different emotion, whether it be angry, sadness or loneliness you just end up feeling really lost. Grieving is not easy and there are days that I hate the whole entire world and it’s sh**!
I wanted to write this post not only to express how I am feeling but to be a source of comfort for all sister’s that have lost a sibling. This is one of the worst things that can happen in life but just remember you are not alone.
P.S. Please feel free to contact me if you are in the same situation and would like to talk 🙂
Love Demi Enchanted