Why self-love is so important…

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I never really understood the notion of self-love. I always thought it was a bit cringe or something that people focused on after a break-up. But once I hit my twenties I finally realised why self love is so important. For one reason or another life gets in the way and our own health and well-being goes right out the window. The older we get the less we tend to look after ourselves physically and mentally. When was the last time you had some ‘you’ time?

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Self-love is not only about looking after your mind and body but it’s also about loving yourself unconditionally, flaws included. It’s about discovering who you are as a person, the things you like and don’t like and being true to yourself. We live in a world where we seek validation and approval from others. We compare ourselves and criticize our own decisions. In some cases, we become our own worst enemy. This is why learning to love yourself is so important because if you do not love yourself, how do you expect other people to love you. If you are constantly putting yourself down, this is the image you are portraying to the world. When you practice self-love and accept yourself fully, amazing things will happen. You will no longer settle for half-ass relationships or not going for that promotion that you’ve been dreaming about. You will have the confidence to strive for what you truly want in life with no regrets. You won’t need to seek validation from anyone because you know you’ve got your own back.

Some people have a misconception of self-love. It not about being selfish and excluding yourself from the world. It’s about understanding and appreciating who you are as a person. Once you are aware of who you are and want you want life you can start to put this into practice.

For the next month, I want you to focus on yourself as much as possible. Do all of the things that you want to do. Run yourself a bath, order a take-away, get a baby sitter and have a night out. Write a list of all of the things you want to achieve this year. Note down the things that make you happy and stop doing things that make you unhappy. Once you learn to love yourself completely everything else will follow.

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what’s the lesson you live by?

 

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This is a pretty good question because as a 25-year-old woman I would say that I most definitely haven’t got my life together just yet. I am known for drinking way too many cocktails and moaning that I should have won the lottery by now. However, last year February I had to learn the hardest lesson of all; family is everything. Don’t get me wrong, I always knew family was important but as a teen/young woman you take them for granted.

My 18-year-old brother died suddenly in February 2016 and I must admit I still don’t believe it to this day. I never thought in a million years that I would need to worry about my little brother dying. It’s one of those things you hear about but you think it will never happen to you. You hit a state of shock, a brick wall. For the first six months, I walked around like a zombie. I became so angry that the world just carried on living whilst my entire world had collapsed. Dealing with grief and trying to offer support to my mum and sister is incredibly difficult. This tragedy will haunt us forever and every day I am smacked in the face with different emotions. The loss of someone is never easy and the pain DOES NOT go away.

The only lesson I can learn from this is to treasure everyone and everything because you never know when you will have your last moment with them. I know life gets in the way and mundane things such as work, arguments etc stops us from remembering what is important, but we must snap out of it. Doing well for yourself, getting that promotion, buying your dream car and living the life of luxury will mean nothing if you don’t have your loved ones around you. Without making this post too depressing, I want to use my story as a reminder for us all to be so grateful for all the good things in life. Say I love you every day, spend more time with your family and always do the things that make you happy.

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I had to learn the hard way that is life is so tough, we will all have good and bad days. There will be times when you want to give up but don’t! life is so precious so embrace it and have as much fun as possible. This experience has shaped me into a completely different person. I am grateful, fearless and want to make my brother very proud. There will be a time when everyone will go through the pain of losing someone they love but just know you are not alone. Life is short and we only get one chance at it so if you are currently unhappy with your current situation, shake up your entire life. Go after your dream job, get a horse, make a family or move to Hawaii. Do all the things that scare you as this will make life worthwhile. One last thing before I go, always be grateful and never take anyone or anything for granted.

 

My do’s and don’t for the week;

  • DO go on a major shopping spree on payday and live off beans on toast for the rest of the month.
  • DON’T stalk your ex on Instagram, it will ruin your entire week!
  • DO buy glamour magazine every month just to read Dawn O’ porters column.
  • DON’T compare yourselves to others, you are a badass.
  • DO snooze your alarm, stay in bed longer and blame TFL for the reason why you’re late.
  • DON’T eat that whole packet of biscuits, you will regret it when you finally make it to the gym.

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Being mum for the week

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So my mum decided to go away on holiday and leave my sister and I alone for a whole week! Honestly nearly had a melt down when she told me. Not only do I hate being in the house by myself but the fact that I would have to be mum for the week absolutely terrified me. I know some of you will be reading this and think “is this girl having a laugh” but honestly unlike our cat I am not house trained! So I decided to rise to the occasion and become Cinderella.

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Can someone please tell me how my mum manages to go to work, cook, clean, do the washing and all the other stuff that comes with it because I am strugglinggg. How do you fit it all in one day? it’s an impossible task. By the time I come home from work, have a shower, put my PJ’S on. Put the heating on, feed the cat. Then prepare dinner, put the washing on, serve dinner and then take the washing out. Fit in an episode of Towie, make mine and Jess’s lunch for tomorrow and then get my creative juices going and write a post.  By the end of it all I lie on my bed and completely pass out.

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With this in mind, I have decided to write a gratitude post not only to my mum but to all the mums out there. I hope you know how amazing you are. Juggling work and running a house is super hard! I was at work worrying all day if I had left the oven and I couldn’t remember if I fed the cat (p.s. don’t tell my mum that).

I am so grateful for my mum and for everything that she does. She is honestly a little dream and I can’t wait for her to come home. I am really excited to be a mum in the future but this week has opened my eyes to how much hard work it is!

We must always be grateful in life because gratitude feeds into the universe. What you put into your life you will get out. Being grateful for what you have whilst striving for what you want will get you where you need/need to be.

I hope this post acts as a little reminder to be grateful always, even for the little things. For all the mums out there, we love you to bits and you are doing an amazing job.

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How to be happy at work

This is going to be my first post on happiness! When I mean happy I mean super, super happy in all aspects of life… let the games begin.
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This month I will be focusing on work work work work work. This seems fit as we spend most of our lives working away, so let’s start there. There are them lucky little souls that absolutely love their job, jump out of bed and rush to work. Then there are the normal people…  only playing,  but there are others that drag their feet to work and dread every second of it. So for the whole of August I will be focusing on how to be happy in your job or how to get the hell out of there. Whichever one you decide to do, you will feel better and happier for it.

So… how to be happy at work

Step 1- Try to identity the reason why you are unhappy at work. Is it the job role? The people? waking up at 7.00am everyday (I feel you on this one). Write a list of all the reasons you can think of in order to identity the problems.

Step 2– Now that we know all of the issues, we now have something to work with. If the problem is the job role, you might want to discuss this with you manager and see if you can pass this to someone else or you could consider applying for a different role within the company.

  • If you are purely working for money and hate your job completely then just focus on all the money that you are making. If you are enthusiastic and work harder there is always a possibility for a pay rise or to be promoted.
  • If you hate the people, try getting to know your colleagues. You have to work with these people day in day out, there must be something you have in common. If you’ve honestly tried everything and you still can’t stand them try to see if you can be transferred to somewhere else. Remember you always have options.

Step 3– Forget about work and focus on what you love to do outside work. what is your favourite hobby? what makes you extremely happy? Whilst you are in work, think about what you plan to do when you finish. If you focus enough on what you love doing, you could make this your full-time job one day!

I used to hate working, like the whole idea of getting up and having to actually talk to others killed me. I don’t have my dream job yet but as long as I make this my end goal, the jobs I do along the way will be the stepping stones to something greater.

So change your attitude, focus on you and keep pushing for your dream job. We will get there in the end. 

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Gratitude will lead you to greatness

It’s so easy to forget about the things that we already have because we are so focused on getting the things we want. I must admit this statement literally sums up my whole life. I get so distracted by all my dreams andR._Kelly_-_The_World's_Greatest material things, I forget about all of the wonderful things I already have… like actually being alive and breathing on a planet that is constantly spinning!

Being motivated and determined to get what you want is all well and good but one of the worst feelings in this world is losing something that you always expected to have around… for example your head, only joking but you see where I am going with this. For those that have been watching Love Island, you know what I mean.

We need to be thankful for everything and everyone because as morbid as it sounds, nothing lasts forever. Once we begin to realise the amazing things we already have in our lives our attitude, frequency and life experiences will automatically change.

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Being grateful will lead us to greatness because every time you ‘win’ at life you will be over the moon. Even if it’s getting the last chocolate bar or winning £10 on a scratchcard. This could go all the way up to landing your dream job or meeting your soulmate. Every win will make you feel amazing.

Trust me the universe will reward you with everything you desire just be grateful, patient and don’t lose sight of your dreams.

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So make sure you show your family and friends how much they mean to you, write little thank you notes to the universe and never take anything for granted.

 

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IMG_4895Gosh, how depressing was my last post?! Things haven’t been great for me and I couldn’t bring myself to write anything, but here I am. Have you ever been in the situation where something awful happens and you think, surely things can’t get any worse? Well guess what kids it can. The last 18 months have been tragic, you honestly couldn’t make this sh*t up. But I feel like I am finally ready now, i’m back. I’ve always loved to write but the thought of writing down the events that have taken place means that this is real, this is actually happening.

The realisation that my little brother has passed away, I am unhappy all the time whilst also dating the boy version of Satan has finally sunk in and the best thing I can do it write about it.FullSizeRender

So be prepared for jumbled posts about love, sadness, grief, gym, partying, holidays, lifestyle and utter rubbish because this is me. As Jen Sincero would say ‘Love yourself right now, wherever you are at’.

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Happy me, where have you gone?

I feel like I am the most miserable girl on the planet right now. Honestly, I have been walking around with a face like a smacked arse for months. Happy Demi where have you run off to?

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Have you ever seen those people that walk around constantly happy about life, smiling from ear to ear just because they are alive. I don’t know whether to punch them in the face or be super jealous that i’m not them. My best friend and I have come to decision that maybe happiness is just not for us.

Some might think that this is a self pity post but it is more me realizing that I am not happy and I need to do something about it. Otherwise I am going to retreat to my room, find the longest series on Netflix and never move again. To be honest, that sounds soooo appealing right now!

mope.0No more moping around, time to jump on the happiness train lol. In an ideal world I would jet off to one of those amazing ‘find yourself retreats’ where you connect with your soul and become at one with life. But those places cost thousands, so i’m going to Marbella instead. I’m sure sunbathing, eating and drinking will assist me on my quest for happiness.

I’ve realized that sometimes it’s OK to be unhappy; its natural especially when life hits you however, what I/we cannot do is wallow. It’s time for change, I want to walk around smiling like a little Cheshire cat. Cheshire_Cat_promotional

First things first, I’m going to go the nearest arts and crafts shop to buy myself a mood board. It’s time to start visualizing all of the things that make me excited. Everything that I love, have and want will be going on this huge creative mood board. I want this to be daily reminder to remind myself exactly what I was working towards.

Secondly, I want to make sure that when I wake up; I am ready for the day ahead. I want to wake up, jump out of bed and sing to the animals like Cinderella (OK, I’ve taken it too far now) but you know what I mean. I want to be ready for the day, how am I meant to conquer the world when it takes me until midday to liven up.

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Thirdly, take everything as it comes. Let’s enjoy life because I don’t want to wake up one day realizing I missed half of it.

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